


What Makes a Woman

by Runic



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Acceptance, F/F, F/M, Female Loki, Female Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Lady Loki, Lady Tony, Mastectomy, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:45:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runic/pseuds/Runic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony lost both of her breasts in that horrible explosion, and while she's learning to live with it, it doesn't mean she is ready to let Loki in just yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Makes a Woman

**Author's Note:**

> So, awhile ago strangersatthemall was talking about how female Tony would have probably lost her breasts in Afghanistan. I found the whole concept compelling and promised a fic. It took me forever, but it’s finally done. I hope you enjoy!

Tony had been what some people would call ‘a late bloomer.’ Her breasts did not start to bud until a few months before her fourteenth birthday. The left had grown quickly, while the right seemed to refuse to cooperate, causing Tony to have to deal with some truly weird lopsidedness. She’d become a pro at stuffing her bra for years.

By age twenty, her breasts had evened up and she no longer hated them. Actually, Tony rather grew to like her breasts, love them even. They weren’t very big, but they were sensitive, round, and perky. Tony took to wearing outfits that clung tightly to her chest without emphasizing their size. In Tony’s eyes, they were the most perfect breasts a girl could ever be blessed with.

That all changed when she stared down a bomb with her name literally printed across its side. Many things did, but the phantom feel of her breasts ended up being one of the most prominent. Yinsen had tried to save her left breast, the damage hadn’t been as expensive as it had been with the right, but in the end it had been a fruitless effort. The shrapnel that wished to eat at her heart had sliced through her breast tissue on its way into her body.  Deep tissue scares marked their way across her chest. They ached, horribly, all the time. With time, Tony had grown used to the pain, but every so often it came back with sharp clarity, reminding Tony that those perfect breasts she had so loved were gone.

Silver linings, at least the arc reactor fit without a problem.

Tony hadn’t been planning on ever taking her clothes off for anyone ever again, but she’d ended up needing Pepper’s help that one time. Honestly, the fact that Pepper was more freaked out about having to put her hand inside Tony’s chest than she was with the scars was probably the first step in their ‘relationship’ relationship, not that Tony realized it then.

Then there had been Obie. When Obie had stolen the arc reactor from her, he’d ripped open her shirt, exposing her tortured skin. He’d laughed at the sight, mocked Tony for no longer being a woman. Tony, completely paralyzed, had to sit there, dying and terrified, as he gloated.  

Pepper had undone all that. She never made Tony feel as if she was no longer a woman, because the thing was, Tony definitely still considered herself as such. Pepper helped Tony to accept the scars as a part of her body, just as much as her breasts had been before. The doubts still clawed away at Tony, mostly at night when she had too much to think about and nothing to do, but it was becoming easier.

Throughout it all, Tony devoted her time to women who’d undergone mastectomies. She started charities and hosted events; she’d even started a fashion line. It was something that made Tony feel like she had purpose. Pepper, as understanding as she was, couldn’t understand what it was like, and being around other people who could sometimes provided the relief Tony needed. 

.

At some point, Thor’s baby sister had wormed her way into their lives. It started with a few missions, classification as a neutral asset, sharp wit and banter between all three of them, and somehow ended up with Loki lounging on Tony’s couch all the time.

Loki was enough to make most women feel inadequate, even if they hadn’t lost their breasts. Her breasts were large and heavy, cleavage always visible. She was clearly proud of them and did not feel a need to hide that face. If Tony had had the perfect breasts for a mortal woman, Loki had breasts that would put every other goddess to shame.

Tony and Pepper had had discussions about including Loki in their bed, she’d certainly managed to find her way into every other aspect of their relationship, but Tony was scared and Pepper was protective. Loki didn’t bring it up beyond subtle hints, so they all ended up just dancing around the subject in the same fashion they did with each other.

Which was probably why Tony felt so squirmy with Loki looking over her shoulder as she planned the annual fashion gala for her mastectomy line.  Tony knew as soon as she heard that deep hum of thoughtfulness in the back of Loki’s throat that her days of being able to avoid the discussion were over. “This is quite a collection. Are there really so many Midgardian women who require these?”

“Unfortunately,” Tony answered in a clipped tone. She felt Loki shove herself up and off the back of the couch at the same time Tony’s body tensed up, but a moment later Loki was back sitting on the cushion next to Tony, the heavy velvet of her dress brushing against Tony’s calve.

“How? I understand with you,” Loki said slowly, a calm so smooth Tony could almost convince herself it was okay to relax, “but not all of these women have fought in battles.”

“The majority of women undergo the procedure because of breast cancer.”

“Ah, I have heard of this,” Loki stated matter-of-factly. “Sometimes I forget how frail you Midgardians are.”

“Geeze, thanks,” Tony said mockingly, rolling her eyes. She hadn’t expected this conversation to feel so easy, and that made her uncomfortable in a completely different way.

“You are welcome,” Loki purred as she curled up against Tony’s side, moving so she had an easy view of the tablet. “I like this one,” she said, pointing to one of swimsuits Tony had just finalized. Tony wasn’t about to admit that Loki’s fancy for elegant lines and dramatic sweeps had inspired the dark emerald piece.

“Of course you would.” Tony turned her head to kiss the top of Loki’s head. “All right, I know you’re dying to, so give me your opinions on the rest.”

/

Loki hadn’t been paying attention, not until Pepper’s face began to harden. Loki could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Pepper truly angry, but she knew the look immediately. Loki turned to the TV, the current source of Pepper’s fury. Four men, sports casters if Loki remembered correctly, were talking about Tony. Loki had no idea how they’d gotten onto the subject, but she was immediately planning on how to crush their skulls without their deaths being traced back to her.

“It’s a shame really, I mean Tony Stark had such a great pair of breasts.”

“But can’t they get reconstructive surgery. I don’t see why someone with that much money wouldn’t at least _try_.”

“Let’s be real though, Tony always did act more like a man. I mean, do you remember how many people she used to sleep with?”

All four men laughed at that, before another added, “You think when she lost her breasts, she was just like, ‘Whelp, I’m halfway there!’” They all laughed harder at that, though Loki saw no reason for them to do so.

Pepper picked up the remote and clicked off the TV before they could say anything else. She still glared at the blank screen, angrily sipping at her cup of tea.

“They think Tony is not a woman because she does not have breasts?” Loki asked, completely disgusted at the display.

Pepper made a noise of acknowledgement, but otherwise kept her jaw shut tight.

“That makes no sense. Shield maidens and Valkyries may not be the norm, but they are not so uncommon that we have never seen one suffer a chest injury.”

Pepper’s anger slowly seemed to be replaced by curiosity as she lowered her cup away from her face. “How do they deal with it?”

“They wear their wounds with pride. It is a mark of their bravery, not something they should be ashamed of.  Most were even gifted with new armor commissioned by the Allfather himself.”

“Wow.” Pepper blinked a few as she continued to drink her tea, no longer radiating fury. “Wish it was like that here.”

“You Midgardians are truly strange,” Loki said haughtily.

“Sometimes I’m inclined to agree with that.”

/

Sif was magnificent.

They’d barely had time for introductions before the call to assemble came through. Sif had gladly leapt into the battle with them, a force of nature cutting down everything in her path. Tony didn’t realize until after the battle, standing next to Sif as Thor complimented them all on the excellent welcome, that the right side of Sif’s chest plate was flat. She couldn’t help herself staring for the rest of the day. She remembered Loki saying that Asgardians did not suffer from diseases, so Tony couldn’t help but wonder how Sif had lost her breast. She thought she’d been doing a rather good job of covering her curiosity, but apparently not that wasn’t the case.

“Brunnmigi.”

Tony’s head snapped up, startled to have been addressed. “Excuse me?”

“Vicious little creatures; they like to defile water sources,” Sif explained, fingers tapping over where her right breast had once been. “Normally they are not so hard to deal with, but in large groups they can be a bit more than normal farm hands can handle. We were called out to deal with one group that had gotten particularly large.”

Thor’s canon like laughter sounded behind her. “That was a memorable battle!”

“That was pure chaos,” Loki added.

Sif rolled her eyes at the pair of them. “It would have been less memorable if you two knew how to watch your backs.” She leaned in close to Tony, as if sharing a secret. “Three of the things went for our ‘beloved’ royal siblings, and these two, dolts that they are, had their backs turned, completely unaware of the danger.”

“So Sif decides to take it upon herself to save our lives,” Loki said dramatically, as if she was the one who had been put out by the whole situation.

“Brunnmigi have nasty claws,” Sif continued with her story, ignoring Loki. “The first one weakened my armor just enough that the other two got through. What little of my chest they didn’t leave in shreds was infected with their toxins.”

“I thought Asgardians didn’t get sick?” Tony questioned.

All three Asgardians shrugged. “There are exceptions,” Loki answered vaguely.

“Anyways, the infected tissue had to be cut away, leaving me with this.” Sif waved her hand at her chest for emphasis. She seemed…proud. Tony could hardly wrap her mind around it.

Thor laughed again as he bent down to kiss Sif’s cheek. “I married an amazing woman.”

“Wait, you two are married?”

“Yes,” Sif answered simply, smiling up at her husband. Tony could have hit herself for not seeing it sooner. The moment it was pointed out, the soft touches and looks of pride all seemed to fall into context.

That meant when Thor became king, Sif would be queen. A woman who had lost one of her breasts would sit upon the throne of Asgard, and she would be proud of who she was. There was no uncertainty in Sif. She was a woman and a warrior; her injury did not change that. Tony suspected that if anyone tried to tell her otherwise, Sif would not hesitate to crush them.

“Thor tells me you are a great inventor,” Sif said, smiling softly at Tony. “Would you honor me by showing me your work?” It was a thinly veiled excuse, but all the excuse Tony needed to be alone with Sif. She found herself almost desperate to talk to the woman in private about her own experiences, and have someone understand what she had been through. Pepper tried, she tried so hard, but there would always be a lingering disconnect that could not be breached without actual experience.  The sense of relief Tony felt was a better release than any drink or drug.

“Yeah, follow me.” Tony eagerly sprang up from her seat and led Sif somewhere where they could talk privately.

.

Pepper watched them go, a small smile playing on her lips. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Tony like that.

“I had not realized how well Tony and Sif would get along. I am glad you convinced her to come, sister. Given your history, I feared your purpose was mischievous.”

Loki glared at Thor, but quickly shrugged as if it had been nothing special.

Thor chuckled and shook his head at his sister’s nonchalant attitude. “If you will excuse me, I have an early sparring match with the Captain. I bid you both good night.”

“Yes, you must get your beauty rest if you are to pound him through the floor,” Loki taunted as he left.

“You asked Sif to come?” Pepper asked once they were alone.

Loki shrugged again. “I thought she would be a good influence on Tony, no matter my opinions of the woman.”

“Why? Not that I’m saying it was the wrong thing to do,” Pepper added hastily. “I’m just kind of curious what made you think it was a good idea.”

Loki gave her a long look, one that reminded Pepper she was dealing with a centuries’ old being. It was easy to forget at times, but when it showed through, Pepper couldn’t help the shiver that traveled through her body.

“Tony lost her breasts quickly,” Loki finally started to explain. “She has had the support of other women who have lost theirs as well, but they had time to prepare themselves for that loss. Tony woke up, and a part of her that was important to her identity as a woman had been taken from her; to save her life, yes, but gone all the same. I thought if Tony was given the chance to interact with someone else who had lost their breast in the same manner, quickly and without warning, it would be good for her. You two may not wish to discuss it with me, but I see the way she still struggles to accept herself. She may act like she is fine, but a lie that weak is a simple thing to see through.”

Pepper took a deep breath as she stepped closer to Loki, wrapping her arms around the goddess’ waist. “Thank you, Loki.”

Loki held her close, arms around Pepper’s shoulders, her forehead resting against the top of Pepper’s head. They stayed that way for a long time, Tony’s two protectors taking their own comfort in each other.

/

“So, what do you think?”

As progressive as her time with Sif had been, Tony was glad when she and Thor finally left, if only because she now had the courage for this moment.

Pepper and Loki turned toward the sound of Tony’s voice, their eyes going wide at the sight of her.  Tony had taken months to design this particular lingerie set. She had tried to go for sleek elegance at first, stressed over designs that would fit Loki or Pepper, but it hadn’t felt like her. Eventually, Tony gave in and designed something she knew she would be comfortable in. The bottom looked like a thin pair of sweat pants, expect when she moved the fabric folded back around her legs, showing off their curves without revealing anything. The top was a thin camisole, the front of which was made entirely of a thin layer of lace. The scars on her chest were visible through the material, but that was okay, because Tony was going to own this. Comfort was her sexy.

 And it was all worth it for their reactions. A bright smile of satisfaction crossed her face as Tony pushed herself off the doorframe, trying to mimic Loki’s swaying hips. Apparently, from the short laugh Pepper gave before biting her bottom lip, Tony wasn’t doing that good of a job at it, but that didn’t matter.

“You look beautiful, my dear,” Loki purred. Her eyes raked over Tony’s body with so much unhidden desire that in that moment Tony could never doubt her own beauty.

“Are you sure you’re ready for both of us?” Pepper asked, still concerned about protecting Tony even now.

Tony made grabbing motions at the both of them as they pulled her onto the couch. “Yep! I may not be able to play with my own breasts anymore, but I can certainly play with yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone curious, the swimsuit Loki was looking at was inspired by this: www.curediva.com/ever-after/swimwear-1/lace-front-halter-pocketed-swimsuit.html#sthash.Fxu0FMNR.dpbs
> 
> And Tony’s lingerie at the end was inspired by this: www.curediva.com/surgery/sexy-divas/gisele-cami.html#sthash.1i2ngmVo.dpbs


End file.
